The Vampire Diaries: 2x12 'The Descent' recap

Yay!

The Vampire Diaries is finally back after that hellishly long hiatus!

We kick off this long awaited episode with a beautiful, blonde, naked Jules waking up in the middle of the woods, blood all around her mouth and on her palms. I'd judge, but we've all had those mornings, amirite? 

Anyway she gets up, and begins to wander around and soon she stumbles upon what appears to be, what I am sure, was a rocking camping trip, before it took a turn for the absolute worst. There are pieces of people all around (a leg here, an arm there) and Jules puts the pieces together fairly quickly. But in her defense, if these are townies they knew what they were getting into - there have been 'animal attacks' in Mystic Falls every other weekend. And don't even get me started on what goes on around the holidays.

She snags some clothes from a dead camper (cause she's classy), slips them on, and whips out the lighter fluid, but before she can get ta flamin a squad car pulls up.

Apparently someone heard agonized screams of abject terror the night before and the department is just now getting to it. Comforting, to say the least.

I enjoy how the cop doesn't look half as unsettled, or even puzzled, as he should be that there is a carefully constructed pile of limbs laying in the middle of this clearing. Just another day on the job in Mystic Falls. Anyway, this copper, I like him. He doesn't ask too many questions. In fact he doesn't ask any questions at all; like, how did Jules get away, or why didn't she come to the police after she ran away from the wolves tearing her 'friends' apart. He doesn't even ask about that smudge of blood around her lip. No, this guy (obviously deciding it's way too early for this shit) turns his back on her to call for backup.

Before he can get the words into the radio, he turns back around and it's lights out as Jules bludgeons him to death with a hunk of wood.

This Jules... she's growing on me...

SUP TITLE CARD!

It's right before school and Elena is at the boarding house. My first thought when I saw this scene was "I'll eat my floor pillow if she actually makes it to school." Honestly, I don't know how the place isn't shut down yet; it's basically an abandoned building until a parking lot is needed to set up for a town event.

Anyway, she calls for Stefan and he's breathing down the back of her neck. Literally. And apparently she's into that kind of thing because she turns around and we're treated to her gettin' all up in that.

I prefer to look away because, at this point, this relationship is about as exciting as a bowl full of plain white rice. And his shirt is off, and his back is smooth, and Elena begs him not to ruin this plain white wall of a moment they have going, but I thank Mr. Salvatore heartily when he pulls away to get some exposition going.

He tells her that he can't pretend that everything is sunshine and goblets overflowing with sweet, sweet blood. Elena informs him that everything is fucking great because Katherine is stuck in that super sealed tomb. She skips off to her bag to pull out Essence of Vervain and Stefan reminds her of that time about two days ago when she made that deal with Elijah, an Original. The one who slapped the head off of a 560 year old vampire, the one who shattered a huge double paned UV glass with a handful of quarters. The one with that ridiculous, but oddly endearing haircut. Yeah, that one.

That conversation basically goes like:

Stefan: You said you'd agree to being a human sacrifice

Elena: Yup!

Stefan: That's kind of counter productive to what I'm trying to do when it comes to keeping you alive

Elena: Elijah promised he'd keep everyone safe! Including me!

Stefan: ...You do know what a human sacrifice is, right?

Stefan reminds Elena of that time, yesterday, when Katherine told him to talk to Isobel to get answers about the Originals. Elena asks him to leave it alone, cause she's so got this covered, but, despite the utmost faith he has in her not to make anymore deals with anymore European devils, he delicately declines. She says she doesn't want anyone to get hurt (although, if memory serves, when she wanted to sacrifice herself she either didn't realize that she would be sacrificing Caroline, Tyler, and Bonnie as well, or she just didn't care. Neither would surprise me - Elena is the worst) The whole time this exchange is happening, Elena is sipping from some vervain laced water (or vodka. It really is up in the air at this point, and frankly I wouldn't blame her for trying to take the edge off. Do you see who she hangs out with?) She offers it to Stefan, who's trying to build up his tolerance and he knocks it back. It burns going down, but he takes it like a trooper, despite it bringing him to his knees for a few seconds. And has he always had that tattoo on his arm?

She asks him how Elijah can do the eye mojo on other vampires and Stefan replies he has no idea, but he'll be sure to direct that question to Isobel when he speaks to her. Elena begins to protest again, but Stefan shuts her up with a kiss. Which is really how you handle girls like Elena. Well, either that or pull a Rose and backhand a bitch. Hee, but fer real though, abuse is not cool.

Team Rose!

Oh hai, Rose! Goodness, you are looking dreadful. Rose sits in front of the fire in the Salvatore living room and says to Damon (who is just lovely in this episode) that she's 560 years old. He tries to lighten the mood by likening her to a fine bottle of wine, but she cuts him off and states, in a voice that implies that she's trying to convince everyone is the room, that she's ready to die.

Damon, who honestly does not know how to feel feelings, picks up a glass and pours some blood, stating that if she doesn't cheer the fuck up he's going to kill her himself to "put me out of her misery" Heh. I know what you mean.

It's just a little werewolf bite, he sing songs and Rose gives a weak, incredulous laugh. "Just a a little, fatal to a vampire werewolf bite" According to legend, Damon inserts and admits that we all know not to depend on legend. (Where was that wisdom when he was stabbing sexy Mason in the sexy chest with a silver serving knife? He's going to be wishing he'd had that nugget of wisdom before that fiasco happened in the next few episodes. )

Rose smiles up at him, recognizing what he's trying to do, and takes the glass of blood from him. "Drink up. Blood heals"

She says she can feel it working and, excited, he peals back her robe to check on her shoulder blade, which frankly, looks like a pickaxe has been taken to it. Damon frowns and then lies when she asks if it looks better.

Elena, who's taking her own sweet time getting to that door to get to that abandoned building, agrees when prompted. "Um, it's not... bad?"

Damon asks where Stefan is and Elena said that he left to go get Isobel's digits. Elena asks Damon to talk to him, to talk him out of contacting her, but surprisingly (or not) Damon is on Stefan's side with this. I'm disliking Elena in this scene (as in most scenes) but mostly because she's so freakin self-absorbed. Damon kind of has his hands full at the mo' but does Elena care?

Not a lick. But my annoyance is soothed when Damon asks Elena to stay with Rose while he nips out real quick.

That conversation basically goes like:

Damon: Rose, you've just got bitten by a werewolf and you're already kinda loosing it. I don't know how else it will effect your mind/ body/etc. Soooo, I'm gonna leave you here with Elena, who is SUPER breakable. Do you mind missing school, Elena?

Elena: Lol school

Rose: are you sure-?

Elena: sounds like a plan!

Damon: Later, suckas!

Before he can make it all the way outside and leave Elena to her fate- er, task - Elena asks if Rose is going to die. And this is where we really see Damon start to crack. It's a tiny crack, but a crack nonetheless. And the tiny cracks will lead to a major collapse so beautiful in its nature I felt as if K Wills has been reading my diary. Anyway, Damon says she probably will die, with those crazy!eyes of his. "Death happens. We come, we go. Sooner she dies the better." Elena frowns. Damon sneers, "It's gloomy as hell in here." And even though he says it sarcastically, it's how he really feels. Gloomy. And has been for a while. Even before Rose went and stood in front of a werewolf.

Booster Club Barbeque!! Whooo! The parking lot gets some use!

Everyone is bright, and cheery, and not going to school as they set up for this town event. I used to mock this, the whole every other day there is a town event, until I realized this is my town. I actually live in the town where they do stuff like this. It is very easy to wander into, say, a Booster Club Barbeque, and assume that it is legit. Even though the town high school has no Booster Club to speak of...

Tyler comes into frame looking smooth and yummy, eyes fixed on someone. On Caroline, who looks gorgeous as usual. That jacket is fabulous. She asks how he's doing and he says his whole body is sore. I offer to take care of that for him but am ignored. Caroline smiles and squees that he did it! That he made it through his first transformation without tearing up the whole town or himself. She is so wonderful and supportive as she tells him that it'll just get better from then on. "It'll get easier; you'll get better at it, you'll learn to control it, and it won't hurt so much." Tyler says that none of this is guaranteed, but she reminds him that it's the small victories that count, especially now. Tyler smiles and laughs, and Caroline smiles and laughs, and then they smile at each other, and then smile at each other and I smile at my television screen, because awww! I did not expect to like this pairing but goodness me, thats adorable.

He thanks her and says he doesn't have a clue what he would have done if she wasn't so amazing. More googly eyes (that is very well acted, but Accola and Trevino always deliver) and then Caroline says that they need to reinforce the wall for next month because he almost got to her. She trails off, no doubt remembering Damon threatening her and insisting she not tell Tyler about the effects of his bite, but he prods and she eventually lets it out, hesitantly. "Well... it's not a big thing...its just that... one... bite... and it's uh, curtains for me. " She tells him that legend says the bite of a werewolf kills a vampire and Tyler asks how she knows. She's supposed to be all alone in this, so who is she getting this info from. She lies, unconvincingly, that she must have read it somewhere and Tyler buys it for the most part but you can see he's Sherlock Holmin' that shit for later.

She's saved from more questions when Matt runs up. Oh hai, Honeybunny! You are looking lovely as ever, but a little sleepy. You're barely in any episodes, so the work schedule can't be what's keeping you down...

Tyler leaves, and Caroline rushes to assure Matt that nothing is going on, but Matt's expression is all 'chill. You're the jealous one out of the two of us, remember. I'm cool.' He says "You may be a lot of things, but you're not a liar" And the funny part is that she is, but not because she wants to be. Everyone and everything around her has been wreaking havoc in her life and has turned her into one.

So, Matt mumbles and bumbles about like an albino bumblebee for a bit, and I wonder if he's used enough SPF today, and he finally decides to put himself out of his misery and kiss her. And it's such a sweet kiss and Caroline smiles into it before she remembers that she can kill Matt with her bare hands in the blink of an eye. She runs away. Understandable.

Jules walks into The Grille and ambles up to Sheriff Forbes, who my lord, does she sleep? She just looks more and more haggard and burnt out as this show goes on. Jules asks if they've found or heard from Mason and Sheriff Forbes says they haven't. Meanwhile, Alaric, who also is giving the finger to his place of employment, sits at a table. He calls up his bff Damon to inform him that Jules is here.

I'd preferred not to see Alaric in a bar after that last episode - seeing how well he can aid in the drugging of a drink is a little unsettling.

Stefan sits down, just as Alaric hangs up the phone and proceeds to show how Elena's awfulness is rubbing off on him.

That conversation basically goes like:

Alaric: yeah so I don't think Isobel will help with Rose.

Stefan: hm? Rose? Who's- nevermind, listen. So Elena, Elena, Elena, annnnd Elena

Alaric: ...so this isn't about the person who got attacked and is consequently dying in your house at this very moment?

Stefan: ... *stares then narrows eyes* Elena?

Alaric: Rose... she needs help too...?

Stefan: I'm sure she does. But listen, can you give me Isobel's number so I can only ask about a way to save Elena?

Alaric: *sighs* fine.

Stefan: :-)

Alaric: you're the worst

Stefan: :-) I am

As Al promises to find the number, in the same breath he tells Stefan not to trust the trick, even when it comes to Elena. Stefan says he knows and Alaric leaves, feeling a little dirtier than he did before that conversation happened.

I feel ya, man. Side-note: Dude, you need new friends. Just anyone that's not Jenna or these people. Elijah seems chill.

Back at the Slavatore boarding house, Elena helps Rose hobble into Damon's glorious bed. Oh, his room is legit. Ten times better than Stefan's. And that bathroom? To die for. Rose complains that she hasn't had a cold in 530 odd years. This whole scene is edited weirdly - I know that a lot of scenes aren't one continuous cut, but you can tell where and when they spliced scenes together. Not to mention, what was in the promos wasn't in this scene. Which only works for Arrested Development FYI but I digress. Elena looks around the room, picks up a nearby book (Gone With The Wind), and Rose comments that Elena has never been in here before. Elena insists that it's just another room with a bed, although she was expecting silk sheets. So was I Elena, but somehow this seems classier.

Rose mealy-mouths something about love, and Trevor being her best friend, and with them being on the run so much and terrified out of their minds, having sex was just off the menu.

Rose calls Elena out on her deal with Elijah, saying it's a cop out, and calls Elena a quitter. This is not the first or last time someone will call Elena out on this, but frankly I think what she's doing is a great idea. Maybe once she's gone Caroline will be the main character. Be still my heart. Everyone keeps insisting Elena fight, but 1) they were so angry at her that one time when she did try to 'fight back' - to the point of sealing her inside of her house and 2) what the hell do they mean by 'fight?' What do they want Elena to even do?

Elena says that that accusation is not fair (and she's right) and Rose changes the subject to that stupid ass moonstone. She asks if she's sure that Bonnie destroyed it, and Elena says of course, which lol Bonnie doing something that advanced. There's a difference between picking a book from the shelf with no hands and destroying a magical object. She gets nose bleeds from reading maps, c'mon.

Rose switches back to Elena sucking and then states that she's tired. Elena leaves her to sleep, but then the fun begins. Rose, delirious, asks for Elena to prepare the horses. She then tells off Trevor for being silly thinking he can race the sun. Then she sits up in bed and begs for more blood which she promptly vomits back up and Elena runs to the bathroom to get a wet flannel. But the bed is empty. Suddenly, behind her, Rose is looking insane and slams her up against a dresser screaming that she's Katherine and it's all her fault Rose has been running all her life.

Elena shouts that she's not Katherine, and Rose, regrettably, lets go of her, mortified. She's confused and doesn't know what's happening to her. She begs Elena not to be afraid of her and Elena's all "I'm not. Do you see who I hang out with?"

Rose gets back in bed, and says that she wants to go home. Elena asks her to talk about it, trying to soothe her and it works for a while, until she remembers her age. "When you live long enough everything disappears" She says she regrets having wasted 536 years being afraid.

Jules is noming on a salad at Ye Olde Grille while Stefan watches her. He gets a text from Alaric and it contains Isobel's number. Stefan hurries to call it on his product placement, but gets the answering machine and leaves a message (and no he doesn't mention Rose. Not that I expected him to, but you know.)

He hangs up just as Damon comes barging in, man on a mission. Stefan intercepts him, to tell him to take it easy because there are tons of people around. Damon assures Stefan that he's not stupid ("There goes my plan to rip her spleen through her back") and that he just wants to talk to her. Stefan stops him again and says he understands that Damon is upset about Rose, to which Damon cracks again and does 'the fuck?' face "Why does everybody think I'm upset about Rose? I'm fine! *crazy!eyes* I don't know if you know this, but sometimes vampires die. I'm going to have a friendly chat with Ladywolf brother. Ease up." He spins around in a huff and Stefan wants to stop him but then his phone rings, and it's about Elena so nothing else matters. Of course.

Damon sits down in front of Jules who greets him in her own special way ("Well ! If it wasn't the one I meant to kill. I'll have to get that right next time.")

Damon informs her that there won't be a next time if she doesn't tell him how to fix Rose. But he has a deal to offer. He won't whip out his Special Move of the 'heart through chest' if she tells him the antidote. She plays coy, and asks if he promises and Damon nods. She reaches for her purse, slaps money on the table, and tells him to bite her.

See what she did there?

She gets up to leave but he stops her. She sing songs that she's not afraid of him and he calls her extremely stupid for that very reason.

He demands the antidote again but she just taunts him. She asks in a soft voice if the chills have started, if the unbearable paid is kicking her ass yet. This leads into an hilarious little bit that basically plays out like this:

Jules: Has the dementia set in yet? It'll eat away at her brain. Soon she'll be rabid.

Damon: *crazy!eyes* totally not going to go check if Elena is alive.

Me: Here here! Good decision, my good Sir.

She backs away and tells him that the only cure is to take a stake and drive it though Rose's chest.

Back at Chez Salvatore, Maid Elena is not knocking on the doors as she announces room service. But she doesn't have to worry about complaints to her boss because the room is empty again. She sets the fresh sheets on the bed and looks around.

She goes downstairs onto the main floor but that's empty too. She pulls out her cell phone and calls Damon, but gets his voicemail. She tells him that it would probably be a great idea if he got back home, but a sound from the cellar draws her attention and she hangs up to investigate. Cause that's what girls like Elena do; investigate sounds in an empty house where the only other person is a rabid vampire.

Elena makes her way downstairs and halfway there finds an empty blood bag. Walking further into her fate she finds Rose huddled in the middle of the room, empty blood bags everywhere even as she sucks on one like it's going out of style. Elena doesn't back away, but instead asks if Rose is alright.

And yes, Rose is just fine because she's tired of sucking on old blood and a fresh vessel has just made itself known. She lunges forward snarling out Katherine's name like the beast Jules said she would become and Elena's like 'omfg' and hauls ass. She throws an old door (?) in the way and runs up the stairs. She begs Rose to stop the madness because she's not Katherine damnit! She's Elena ! And for a second it seems to work until Rose remembers that Elena is the worst and attacks.

They fall to the ground in a heap and Elena thinks fast and pulls a curtain from it's rod to let the sunlight flood in. Rose jumps away from the heat, skin sizzling, and cries ripping from her throat (and can I just throw in now that I love how no one thinks to check up Elena. Ever. You'd think after she'd gotten kidnapped that one time last week people would have learned.)

She runs to the front door but Rose catches up. Elena digs her nails into Rose's disgusting, festering back wound and Rose cries out in excruciating pain. She collapses and instead of going through the front door that is right. There. Elena runs up the stairs. She locks herself in a room and shoves a desk in front of it. Then she opens up the huge doors to let the sunlight pour in. Next is property damage as she kicks a hunk of wood out of an end table and uses it as a stake.

Rose, who sounds back to normal, is on the other side of the door, begging Elena to help her, but Elena hunkers down and waits for someone to remember that they've locked her in the house with someone who's brain is deteriorating at an alarming rate.

Back at that building where no one is sure of it's purpose, Matt runs Caroline down in the hall. "Why?" He asks and Caroline is confused. He asks why she ran away from his sweet lovin and she says it's because he caught her off guard. They dance around for a bit until Matt is finally like tell me something! Anything! And that's when I smile sadly because no, Matty. You will never know anything on this show. You will be kept in the dark even as you open your front door one morning for the paper to find Jules hunched over on your doorstep feasting on what looks to be Damon Salvatore. Anyway he begs her to tell him how she feels and Caroline tears up and tells him that she loves him. And she means it, she does love him and they were going to be great and pale together until she didn't die in that car accident and got killed anyway. And I really feel for her, I do.

Matt is happy that she loves him, but it doesn't add up to him; if she loves him why can't they be happy together? He begs her to tell him what's wrong, and it seems for a second that she will waver but then some cheerleader needs some hamburgers and by the time Matt looks back around Caroline is gone. D'oh!

Hours later, way across town, Elena is STILL alone. After so long with no noises she decides its safe to come outside The hallway is empty, and armed with her table leg she makes her way downstairs. The front door is open and she stares at it for a while then turns around quickly to find Damon (and where the fuck has he been all this time. Night has fallen.)

That conversation basically goes like this:

Damon: Totally heard that Rose was gonna lose her mind but I'm just now showing up. Sup!

Elena: Rose is gone!

Damon: O_o

Back at the BC BBQ and Rose is stumbling about in the dark near the dumpsters looking crazy. A black janitor comes on the screen, and I flash back to the fate of the last African American worker at at a Mystic Falls event.

That conversation basically goes like this:

Me: Is that a black man at a Mystic Falls school function?! Must mean one thing!

*gets throat ripped out*

Me: Right on time. Oh, Vampire Diaries.

Liz and her men have stumbled upon what happens to you in Mystic Falls if you're a black person without magical powers. Damon rushes up and inquires innocently to what's going on. Liz tells him and of course asks for his help. This is when I wonder how Liz Forbes still has a job, and just what that job entails exactly.

Elena is here leaning against a car in her sexy leather jacket, and calling Stefan who's been MIA. Damon comes up, and instead of asking him if he has any clue where that insane, missing, rabid vampire that is the cause of her to have been trapped in a room all day is she asks if he's heard from Stefan. Damon responds, in a much nicer tone than I, that "baby brother is not exactly my priority right now." Too right, Damon. He hands her the stake from earlier, but honestly if I were him I'd send her out into the night unarmed. She obviously needs a reminder on how dangerous Rose is right now.

Clip to two people who will be dead in the next minute. They are blonde, and attractive, and walking to their car. The guy asks the girl what happened for there to be so much commotion back there and she says in an inappropriately salacious tone that the janitor must have had a heart attack.

He opens the car door for her and it takes way too long for him to get inside of the car as well. She calls out his name (Eddie) but just then his body crashes into the windshield. She screams, and gets out of the car only to have her jugular ripped out by Rose. Damon pulls her to the ground where she comes to her senses, but loses it immediately when she sees the two bodies on the ground. She laments breaking her rule of taking human lives and begs in a heart-wrenching way for Damon to just end it. He shushes her, even as another crack forms, bigger this time, and picks her up to carry her home. Then, hilariously, Elena gives the shifty eyes and carefully, sneakily, bends to pick up the stake. As if THAT would be what would draw attention to this scene, and not Damon tackling Rose and then carrying off her sob-wracked body.

Oh, Elena.

Rose, looking mighty grey, wakes up in Damon's bed. She apologizes right away but he blows it off in the best Damon way ever. "You went on a murderous rampage. It happens." Me and Rose give a little smile because it's true.

Elena comes into the room and Rose apologizes for her behavior. Damon's crazy!eyes demand that she leave the room but she doesn't. Rose mealy-mouths again, this time something about feeding, and thirsting, and killing and Damon snaps for her to stop talking about it. Another crack.

Damon can't bear to look at her so he turns away, but Rose only turns to Elena and says "Damon is like me. He wants to care, and he does but he runs away from it." She apologizes for what she's done today and Elena nods, forgiving her instantly, because even she's not so awful as to hold it against her. She tells Elena to fight (there that word is again with no definite definition) and that even though shes scared she has to fight.

She dissolves into a fit of coughs and asks why Elena is so nice to her. Elena smiles and says "Us humans." Rose says she never forgot how it was to be human, that it's just there pushing underneath the surface. "It haunts me. It's the only thing that's kept me going." Neither of them see it, but Damon cracks again. Another fit of coughing and then a intense searing pain in her stomach.

As she screams out in agony, Damon demands Elena leave and she finally does.

Tyler waits on Caroline's front steps for her and she's understandably confused as to why he's there. He asks where she's been and she's like at school where everyone in town has been - even Rose had time to make it out, and asks why he's here. She assumes something is wrong, which I guess with Tyler is understandable (when has he ever just stopped by for a light chat) but everything is fine. He just wants to get to the bottom of some things - like why would she risk her life for him. Now you can see Caroline thinking this is an odd question, and to her its simple: Friend needed help, she could help, so she helped. No biggie. But Tyler still isn't getting that he's worth helping and Caroline finally snaps and pushes past him to get into her house. "Why is it so hard for you to let someone else help you? ...It's like you don't want anyone to care about you! And I'm sorry I cared, I'm sorry I care Tyler, so forgive me if I overstepped my boundaries by actually giving a-" Her ramble is cut off by his lips, and unlike earlier with Elena, this is how you cut off girls like Caroline because who doesn't wanna kiss girls like Caroline all the time?

And, surprisingly, she gets all up in this kiss too, until she remembers that Tyler can easily kill her. Man, this love triangle is basically like a food chain. A sexy food chain.

She pulls away, he apologizes, and she's flustered. "Everyone just needs to stop kissing me!" Tyler's confused as she rushes outside and leaves him on the front steps, and I know he's thinking what I'm thinking - no, Caroline. We will never stop kissing you.

Damon sits in bed with Rose, cradling her in his arms. She seems to have stabilized, and she talks about how Damon is an alright guy. He's cute and gentle as he jokes, saying that he's really mean and he likes it, but Rose sees through it. He tells her to go to sleep, and does the nicest thing that he's done in this show besides go all the way back to that house where we first met Rose and pick up Elena's stupid locket. He constructs her hometown in her dreams for her (and is it weird that I forgot that vampires can do that). And it's gorgeous and just like she described with fields for miles, and trees changing color, and horses. Her hair is long again and she's in a pretty plain blue dress.

She sees Damon sitting in the pastures and she sits down next to him, smiling asking how he knew to do all this. "Word gets around.... you told Elena." She asks if she's dreaming and Damon shrugs but you can tell she doesn't care either way. She's just glad to be home again, to be able to lift her face towards the sun without screaming in agony. And she says as much, that she misses humanity. Damon insists that "it's not all it's cracked up to be."

She's not swayed - she had friends and family when she was human. Damon says she still does but she shakes her head sadly. All she had was running with Trevor and then she didn't even have Trevor. But enough about that, because she makes sure to tell Damon that he has friends and family, people who actually care about him, and that he should cherish it. She wasted 500 odd years running, not living but existing.

And because Damon really hates feeling feelings, he breaks up this little chat with something witty. She lets it go, hugs him, and asks if he'll enjoy the fresh air with her. He smiles, "For a little while." And this is easily one of the prettiest, most touching scenes in the whole episode.

Quick clip to Damon and Rose still in bed, and then back to the field where she thanks him for taking away the pain. She wonders if she'll see her family again. "I think you will see whoever you want to see." And she's happy. She's not afraid anymore.

Clip out to Damon slowly letting go of her hand and getting the stake ready.

In the field Rose proposes a race to the trees, and Damon says that she'll lose, but Rose is all smiles, giggling and truly happy for the first time in years. "I'm older and faster." Damon makes a cute 'bring it on' face, and stands up. He implies he could just cheat because he did make this dream after all and she gives a truly genuine laugh. "On the count of three; one," we clip back out to Damon holding the tip of wood to her heart, hands shaking, in the dream she gets read to run, "two-" And then it's done.

He drives the stake through her heart, and she lets out a little gasp of surprise and pain, but that's about it. All that noise and anguish of earlier ended in a whisper. It's the best he could do for her. And he's devastated, and crying, and I draw my knees up to my chest cause man! Super sad.

Damon is waiting in the woods when Sheriff Forbes rolls up. He brusquely informs her that he's done her job for her, again, and has caught the vampire responsible. She's gobsmacked, but why?; I can't remember the last time she actually caught one herself. Well besides that time when she trapped Stefan and Damon in the Lockwood cellar, but we saw how well that worked out for her. I bet her resume is blank. Anyway, she thanks him for a job well done, but Damon barely pays her any attention, just informs her that he'll take care of the body as well.

Jules! She's chilling in The Grille. Still. But now she's brought Tyler around to loiter. He's closed off and basically wants to know what the hell is going on. She says that she just wants to be besties, and yeah she knew all about Mason and knows all about him. Tyler keeps his poker face on and doesn't admit to anything, but Jules is like, yeah totally know you're a werewolf. And she knows that Caroline is a vampire. Tyler immediately goes on the defensive asking how she knows about Caroline and Jules is genuinely surprised when she realizes that he can't "sniff them out."

And they are doing these cuts between Jules and Tyler and goodness me, their bone structure is exquisite. Those cheekbones are to die for.

Tyler stays quiet, but he doesn't need to say anything, because his expression apparently gives it all away. Jules is taken aback to realize that Tyler is a baby werewolf, "brand new" she calls it.

She reaches over the table to clasp his hands, saying that she can help him, but Tyler doesn't want her help. He wants his Uncle Mason. He asks if she knows where he is and Jules bluntly tells him that Mason is very, very dead and Caroline was the one behind it. "She and her little vampire friends were behind it Tyler" and this is why I am Team Jules. She didn't ask for trouble, and she didn't start this, but she sure as hell is going to finish it. Damon has to know he can't just go around tearing out hearts all willy nilly - there has to be some kinds of consequences.

Tyler isn't buying this whole 'Caroline totally knows exactly what happened to Mason and just hasn't told you' story and insists that Jules is the one lying. "Caroline is the only vampire in town" he hisses but she laughs in his face. "Is that what she told you? This town is crawling with vampires." But never fear, because she assures him that there are more werewolves just like them, and they are on their way.

And the streets of Mystic Falls will run red with blood.

Next!

Back at Chez Salvatore, Elena is still hanging about like she does. Damon asks why she's still here. She says that she left but came back because she figured he'd be sad. He says he appreciates the gesture but really he's just glad that it's all over.

She says she doesn't believe that for a second, but Damon is damn tired and does not want to talk about this right now and he points her towards the door. She insists that they are friends (and are they really now? Did I miss that dialogue when she forgave him for snapping her brother's neck?) and he says he knows this already. She pushes and prods until another, bigger crack appears. "What do you want me to say? That I cared about Rose? That I'm upset? Well, I didn't and I'm not."

He begins to walk away but Elena basically tells him not to give up on trying to feel feelings! That he's so close! And every time she says something like this I want someone to punch her in the throat because Damon is not Stefan, and she for some reason has not gotten that through that pretty little head of hers. Things is, Damon does feels feelings, but prefers not to because every time he does he wants to kill somebody. And usually does. Different strokes for different folks and all. But Elena STILL does not get that Damon feeling things may not be the best thing for him, or frankly anyone in this town. He already needs little to no provocation for taking a life, why in the world do you want to throw violent emotions into the mix.

But maybe I'm just projecting; I don't like feeling feelings either.

Finally he snaps, "I feel, Elena, okay? And it sucks. What sucks even more is that it was supposed to be me. Jules was coming after me."

Elena, like the shrink we never want to see, points out that he's feeling guilty. He turns everything around on her and is like 'stop trying to humanize me! I'm not human!' and that right there is where it all lies isn't it? Then he accuses her of accusing him of giving up when all she's done is give up, referring back to the deal she made with Elijah. Then he tells her, once again, to gtfo, ("there's been enough doom, gloom, and personal growth for one night) but she doesn't leave before giving him a hug. And man that hug, that's what finally breaks him. That last crack that proceeds the glorious meltdown happens right here in Elena's very human arms and his lips tremble and eyes tear up, and it's all very sad.

Elena gets home and Stefan melts out of the shadows, like he is wont to do. He asks about Rose (like he cared) and tells her that he called Isobel. She says she knows and it's okay. She asks if he found her, and Stefan, crafty sonovabitch that he is, says nothing but that twinkle in his eye promises something spectacular. And then he steps aside to reveal Uncle John, and I thank the writers of The Vampire Diaries for just being awesome.

Dunno if you've all noticed by now but I love when everything goes wrong, and when Uncle John is around nothing ever goes right.

Side note: his hands are in his pockets, so we can't see the state of his hand. I'm adding that to the list of cliffhangers.

So! We clip to a car driving straight into a scene that is full of win. In a nod to the pilot, we see a body laying in the middle of the road, and this time it really is Damon.

The girl (Jessica) gets out of the car and runs up to hover over him. She asks him if he's okay, and Damon's head lolls to the side as he murmurs that he's lost. She tells him that he's in the middle of the road, but he says he's not that kind of lost. "Metaphorically. Existentially." She asks if he needs help and he whips out a flask and says mildly that yes, yes he does need help and asks would she like to help him?

Now, I don't know about you, but if I stumbled across a man who looked like Ian Somerhalder in the middle of the road, talking philosophy with a flask in hand, I'm turning off my car so the battery doesn't die and am hunkering down for a long night.

But this girl sees that he's drunk and decides that she wants nothing to do with this situation and slowly makes her way back to her car. Damon twists on the asphalt and begs her not to go because he really does need help. She keeps walking but next thing you know he's behind her, twisting her around and compelling her to stay still to watch the mental break that ushers in the Damon that we all know and love, and frankly, have missed these past couple of episodes.

She pleads that she doesn't want any trouble, and Damon's all me neither! But it's all that he's got. Then 'DLZ by TV on the Radio' starts playing. He offers her a sip from the flask, remembers she can't move, and takes a swig himself. She asks why she can't move. Because he's Compelled her body, and not her mind. He needs her to be in her right mind for this, he doesn't want to be talking to an empty vessel because he needs someone to actually understand him. To know that he's hurting so much inside.

He asks Jessica's name (she tells him) and thus begins the spiral;

"Jessica! I have a secret. I have a big one but I've never said it out loud! I mean... what's the point?! It's not going to change anything- it's not going to make me good. Make me adopt a puppy," he spits that last word like it's acid and Jessica trembles. "I can't be who other people want me to be. What she wants me to be" (and I'm assuming this is Elena, but it would make sense if he meant Rose too. But I'm sure it's Elena. It's always Elena.) He grips her upper arms tightly and crazy!eyes "This is who I am Jessica" She cries and asks if he's going to hurt her. In response Damon makes this ridiculously sad and lost face and breathes, "I'm not sure." He blinks and raises his hands to stroke her hair and cup her face. "Because you are my existential crisis," he says softly. He bites his lip, and studies her face, and Lord help me but I would not mind that being the last face I see before being brutally murdered. "Do I kill you? Or do I not kill you?" We all know what Jessica's answer is, but he backs away. "But I have to Jessica. Because I am not human." Then he lets it all out in a burst of emotion "And I miss it. I miss it more than anything in this world! That is my secret. And there... is just so much that a man can take.." And I feel his pain because Somerhalder is working it this week, like the rent is due tomorrow. And Jessica is terrified, because when someone who appears to clearly be human insists that he is not human you know that he obviously has nothing to lose, and you are, therefore, up shit creek without a paddle. Hell, without a boat.

She begs him please not to kill her, and he steps forward and searches her face for something. And apparently he finds it because he nods and whispers okay, then ends the Compulsion on her and says she is free to go. She runs back to her car but isn't fast enough. He rushes her and rips her throat out because he's not about to go hurtling off the edge of this metaphorical cliff in a half assed manner. No, he needs her to run so that he can catch her and feel like the monster he thinks he is.

She crumples to the floor and we close-up to Damon's truly horrific appearance, blight blue irises surrounded by blood red, veins everywhere, and her blood on his face. The scene ends with Tunde Adebimpe crooning the very appropriate lyrics:

Your victim flies so high

All to catch a bird's eye view of who's next