It's The Vampire Diaries! I'm not gonna lie, it was pretty great. This week we learn a few things in one of the best history lessons ever - 1) Klaus is scary - it's Matthew Davis that isn't, 2) hair back in the day was bad - really, really, bad, 3) we all had good reason to suspect that the sun and the moon curse sounded kinda fishy, and 4) when it comes down to it, most huge problems are caused by cheatin hos.
Oh, and all of you reading this realize what a horrible person I really am.
Let's get started !
o o o
So, Elena is just chillin out in that basement. I never noticed before, but I love how rustic the whole atmosphere is. So she's waiting, dagger in hand and BAM - Elijah wakes up. Kinda. He's having spasms, gasping for air, calling Elena Katarina, and having convenient historical hallucinations.
FLASHBACK!
England, 1492. We're in some fancy, smanchy sienna tinted room. Trevor walks up to Elijah and I am so, so, glad that Elijah got a haircut. That look was not working for him. Trevor tells Elijah that he's got Klaus's birthday gift and leads him over to- Katherine! When she was still human, mind, so she's actually sweet and not pretending to be.
Elijah gives her a look that sends unpleasant shivers throughout my body because damnit, I cannot take another love triangle. Or square more like it, if you fell like throwing Trevor and his goofy self into the mix.
Back to the present where Elena is hissing to Elijah that she's not Katherine. But balls if he's listening to that - he's too busy flashing back and forth between sienna world and real life, shaking and muttering 'Oh My God' the whole time.
FLASHBACK!
Back to Elijah giving Katherine that look and he says sorry for his blatant staring, but she reminds him of someone. Was that a cover for his weird behavior, or was he serious?
PRESENT!
Elijah passes out again then spasms violently. He stands up, can't breathe, and is bashing into walls - he wasn't invited into the house and these are the side effects. Glad they explained that. He bashes and crashes his way up the stairs and out of the house. It's morning now - damn, she was there all night? And Stefan didn't notice? Don't they sleep together? I mean think about it - the last place she was last night that he knows of was Damon's bedroom and she never came back. Besides, I don't take Stefan for someone who likes sleeping alone - snugglebunny if I ever saw one.
Elijah is outside and can finally breathe enough to attack Elena, but he's thwarted by the door barrier ( I know exactly how he feels - most times my barrier is the television screen.) He demands to know what happened but Elena shushes him, pointing upstairs to indicate that she doesn't want Damon and Stefan to hear. What? They didn't hear all that banging at all? The Salvatore brothers are crazy heavy sleepers. She asks him if she can trust him and he asks if he can trust her. To show that she won't kill him again she hands him the dagger.
My first reaction was this is a bad idea, but really when it comes down to it, not really. Elijah doesn't need a dagger to kill Elena if he really wanted to, and at this point I view the Salvatore brothers as these lovable idiots who can't bodyguard or keep Elena safe whatsoever. So give the dagger to someone who can actually make some use of it when the time comes.
o o o
Stefan wakes up, finally, and realizes Elena is not in the bed. I don't know why but I'm always surprised of that tattoo on his arm. What is that of - a flower?
Stefan would.
He rushes down stairs to find newscaster lady in his house. Hey, Andy! I didn't miss you until I saw you again. Andy always manages to usher in hilarity and desperation to the screen. And look! Here comes that hilarity/desperation now - Damon walks up and is all lovey dovey with her, adding another level onto the H/D cake - adorableness. He's adorable and cutsey and I get happy for him until I remember that he had to COMPEL someone to agree to be this way with him because the girl he loves jerks him around more than a teenage boy does his-
I'm not going to be crude(er), but you see where I'm going with this. Damon has to Compel a woman to love him, and make him coffee, and make kissy faces with. Later on Stefan tells Damon to stop fucking with Andy, that she's not a toy to be played with, but what Stefan doesn't see is that, yeah, OVERALL this is an act, but inside the act Damon just likes making kissyfaces, damnit.
Sorry for that - lets get back on track. So, Stefan asks Damon if he's seen Elena and Damon is like nope, missing Elena is missing and my girlfriend is right here. Oh, Damon... you're so tragic. And also - Stefan slept through all that banging, crashing, deal making, and Elena getting dressed and leaving the house. Either his super hearing is on the fritz or Elena is a ninja. And as I remember that episode where she was running through that cabin house from crazy Brady, I'm going to guess ninja.
More kissy faces between Damon and Andy and Stefan tells Damon to knock it off - Andy is a person not a windup toy. Both Andy and Damon tell him to fuck off, but Stefan ain't listening - he's just found out what crazy Elena did. He runs down the stairs to find Elijah gone.
o o o
Maddox is off to retrieve Klaus's actual body. Katherine is looking super fine as usual and making him coffee. She asks Klaus if he's sure that's the best idea and he says sure why not - everything is set in place so lets get this show on the road. Katherine asks a very good question, one I was pondering myself - why would he break the curse in Mystic Falls when everyone and their momma is gunning for him? The answer is simple - the curse has to be broken in the birthplace of the doppelganger. Of course it does. Another damn requirement.
Katherine says she had no idea about that and Klaus says of course she didn't - she ran away before he could let her know. He brings up the painful memory of that time when he slaughtered her whole family and the line is so haunting and good that I kinda start to consider that maybe the problem isn't with Klaus, but with Matthew Davis, who plays Alaric. We'll see.
Klaus says he hopes Elena isn't as stupid as Katherine was and remains in town and Katherine tells him that she won't run while her loved ones are in danger. Klaus says "cool, oh and don't leave this house until I say so." D'oh!
o o o
Elena and Elijah are driving down the road and then she parks the car apparently in the middle of the street. I live around where this show is filmed and by law you can't really do that - that curb isn't a regulated curb where you are allowed to park but just a regular 'gonna drive on by and not park in the middle of the road' curb, but whatever - I'm nitpicking.
Elijah is drinking some blood and Elena tries to strike up a deal. She'll tell him everything as long as he gives her his Word that they can work together on this. Elijah tells Elena her time to ask for anything was thrown away when she killed him but she says all she wants is his help. She makes a good argument; they both want to kill Klaus and they can't do that without the other so how about they do the damn thing.
I liked Elena this episode.
Her phone starts ringing and its Stefan. He's all "wtf!" and Elena says calm down, everything is alright. Elijah is with her and it's all alright. He tells her to tell him where she is so he can come get her and I laugh at this because shut up Stefan. You can't protect Elena, either because she's sneaky as hell or you have no idea what you are doing. Elena tells him she's fine, and she and Elijah need time alone to chat. Stefan says some other stuff but Elena's not budging. She says Elijah is a nobleman who will keep is Word. She can trust him, and he knows that she knows that she would be ridiculous for killing him again, and that, by removing the dagger, she has proven herself. And also, don't let Damon do anything crazy. She says she'll talk to Stefan later before hanging up on him and handing Elijah her phone.
Im surprised no one has put a tracker in Elena's phone (or body) by now. I mean, I agree with most everything she is doing right now, but I don't know - how has no one thought to track Elena. Have Bonnie put a spell on her or something. But that would make too much sense and would probably leave Bonnie a shuddering, nose-bleeding mess on the floor.
Damon asks Stefan if Elena hung up on him. When Stefan says yes, Damon exclaims "she's lost it." El. Oh. El. THIS is what confirms it for Damon, not anything else insane and harmful Elena has done since he's known her but the fact that she hung up the phone on Stefan.
Epiphanies work like that.
Stefan and Damon argue - Damon says they need to find Elena and stop her, and Stefan says no, they need to back off and let her handle this. Damon huffs off to go do something about it anyway, but Stefan restrains him bodily and repeats himself. Glares are shot and this is the first instance in this episode where Stefan stakes claim to Elena.
I happen to think Stefan let Elena do what she wanted because he was sick of showing everyone how horrible he is at protecting her, and he stopped Damon because he's sick of Damon being able to get the job done better than he can.
o o o
Elena and Elijah are still in that car (illegally parked) and Elena is telling him how Klaus is in Mystic Falls in Alaric's body. Elijah says of course he's in someone else's body - he does it all the time. Elena uses this to point out that Elijah is the only one who knows what Klaus likes to do annnd-
FLASHBACK!
Still that party, which is Klaus's birthday party. He likes to make late entrances - Klaus has a flair for the dramatic dontchaknow. Annnnd in he walks! Finally! First impressions:
Goodness me - that bone structure! I hope he has a different haircut in the future! I enjoy him already! Elijah introduces Katherine to Klaus and Klaus kisses her hand, introduces himself, smiles and my mind is made up - it's not Klaus that's stupid, it's Matthew Davis. Well, he's not stupid.
Okay, so this is the deal - as much as I love Matthew Davis and his swarthy face, he's the one who can't pull Klaus off as a threatening being. He doesn't have that fierce bone structure, or joker like smile. What I think is, Klaus was intended to come off as an insane jester and all Matthew Davis did was make him seem like a super quirky, mildly crazy, lecherous town drunk. Which Alaric, apparently already was if last week's episode was anything to go by. So yeah, Joseph Morgan, with just a few words, has changed my mind completely about Klaus being ridiculous. This character might actually succeed in scaring me- and not in a 'oh lawd, Alaric is near my drink' way.
o o o
Elena and Elijah roll up to the Lockwood Mansion just as Carol in on her way out. No, not to find her son, silly. She's on her way to a meeting (and before you ask, no, not a meeting about what to do about her missing son.)
She opens the door and sees Elijah all beat up and rightly asks what happened. But then her appropriate response is thrown out the window when she accepts the mild excuse of "I had an accident." Did you take a look at those clothes? They're filthy, torn, and burned to a crisp. At least offer the man some tea! That suit indicates one hell of a night. Instead she was on her way out but Elijah has to Compel her to be compassionate and offer him a damn suit. As she runs upstairs Elena asks how Elijah knew she wasn't on vervain and he reveals that he got her off it (how? By smooth talking? I want to say he probably Compelled her but if that's the case how did that work - you can't Compel someone who is on vervain anyway, and I'm certain Carol Lockwood always had it in her system) before Elena killed him. Love how he keeps bringing that up - seriously, it's not something you can just let go.
o o o
Stefan's phone rings and it's Jenna. She's asking where Jeremy and Elena are, she hasn't heard from them all day. My first reaction; NO. No, You DO NOT get to ask anymore questions AT ALL, Jenna. You gave up that right when you were the worst 'adult' ever. And, as always, I include Liz in this group. Stefan tells Jenna he doesn't know where anyone is and Jenna says Elena left all these messages telling her to stay away from Alaric.
Stefan says it's hard to explain on the phone, but Elena was hoping that Jenna could stay away for a few more days. Which turns out to be moot because turns out Jenna is home already. Oh! Did Jenna have a realization that taking care of teenagers actually means being in the house? Sorry, nope. She's only there as a midway point - Alaric asked her to meet him at the Grill later.
Jenna...
Anyway, Stefan says not to meet Alaric, he'll be right over to explain everything. He hangs up and looks to Damon for help but Damon is all pffft, Elena is your girlfriend. Note this is the second time he's used that phrase 'your girlfriend' this episode. I suspect he's feeling kinda vulnerable after saving Elena last night, and telling her that he will always protect and love her till the end of time, and she said absolutely nothing because that IS ALL THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS. I don't blame Damon for feeling sad, I don't - it sucks to risk your life over, and over, and over again for a girl who only leads you on and then crushes your heart time and time again, but this is partly his fault. He's the definition of insanity - doing the same exact thing every single time and expecting a different outcome.
Andy slides up - Hey, Andy! - and Damon tells her it's time to "go rouge." They head out. I have to say, I like them as a 'couple.'
o o o
Elijah is all clean and in a new suit and goodness, I seriously love Elijah. Honestly, I think he is the most aesthetically pleasing person on this show after Mason and Tyler Lockwood. TYYYLLEERRR, I MISSS YOUUU, I'd cry out for Mason too, but he can't hear me where he is...
Anyhoodles, Elena tells Elijah how they killed both of his black witches and he is so pissed. He's also peeved off when he realizes Katherine was released from his Compulsion and props to Daniel Gillies - his angry eyes and silent rage over this made me shiver.
Elena tells him that Klaus has Katherine and she is most likely dead, but Elijah says think again. Klaus wouldn't just kill Katherine. Elena is kind of befuddled - if Elijah wants Klaus to die, why would he punish Katherine? Elijah says that he has his own reasons for wanting to trap Katherine and segues into how there was a time when he would do anything for Klaus annnnnd
FLASHBACK!
They're at the fancy birthday party (and can I just say, I think its great that Klaus still celebrates his birthday after all these years. It just underscores his insanity) and Katherine and Klaus are chatting. Klaus is enchanting to her. Klaus turns to Elijah and says "would you excuse me, BROTHER" and Elijah says, "but of course, BROTHER."
They're brothers! I didn't see that coming! Oh em-
Aw, he took the words out of my mouth.
o o o
Heeheehee Katherine bored is cute. She spins round on a chair and lights up when she finds liquor. She's drinking as she hears Damon and Andy coming to the door. This is one of the first times we get to hear how a vampire hears and it's cool, but it also makes me wonder how the heck Stefan didn't hear all that banging around earlier.
Katherine runs to the door but can't open it because of Klaus's instruction, but no matter. Damon opens it anyway and has Andy go in. Damon doesn't really give any reaction to the fact that Katherine is still alive.
o o o
Stefan is at Elena's house now and starts to explain stuff when he sees Jenna's guilty expression.
Alaric/Klaus is in the house already DESPITE her niece begging Jenna not to talk to him until she got a chance to speak to her first.
Jenna is good for nothing. Seriously. She is there only to make things absurd and/or harder.
o o o
Back at the Lockwood Mansion Elijah tells of his family of Originals. It's an actual family - two parents, seven kids. I start getting excited because yay! We finally get to hear how they came about - how the heck were the Originals even made? A spell, a spider bite, a naked chant around a camp fire? What?
But that would be too awesome, because Elijah gives us this line; "Our origins as vampires is a very long story, Elena. Just know, we're the oldest vampires in the world. We are the Original family and from us, all vampires were created"
...
That's it.
No really, that's it.
NO.
EXPLAIN IT.
EXPLAIN ALL OF IT.
You can't just keep that story to yourself! That annoyed me - seriously The Vampire Diaries better explain this ALL at one time or another because if they don't that's lazy as hell.
Elena asks why in the world Elijah wants his brother dead, but all he says is that he needs air - he's still feeling a little dead. You know, cause Elena killed him. Heehee.
Grudges. We hold 'em.
o o o
Andy! You are lovely. My favorite human by far.
Katherine asks what they are doing here and Damon tells her they are here to see if she deserves to get rescued. He says he figured she was still alive - Klaus was blending in far too easily. Yeah he was, but only because you all were ridiculously oblivious. The man was acting like a deranged sprite and ya'll let it ride.
He's got some vervain. Katherine says it wont do any good but Damon says there is always a loophole in Compulsion. Klaus didn't tell Katherine that she had to follow everything he said until the end of time. Hence, Loophole. He's going to give her the bottle but before he does he makes her acknowledge the fact that double-crossing them will never work - look where it got her this time. He hands it over and says that she owes him. Best believe he will collect.
Andy, who has been just touching all of Alaric's stuff and looking around in the background chirps an "It was nice to meet you," before closing the door.
She's wonderful.
o o o
Alaric/Klaus is busy being crazy in the Gilbert kitchen. He's chopping up vegetables and talking about loving knives and is just generally being insane. I'm sure the whole thing would have been better with real Klaus, but this was okay too.
I think my favorite part of this whole scene is we get more confirmation that THIS IS HOW ALARIC REALLY IS. Jenna isn't asking him why he's talking about knives as if they are lovers. Why he's shooting Stefan expressions that are a mix of sultry and deadly. She just vaguely asks why they are both in the kitchen. I get it, you're confused and most likely on the tail-end of a high, but still- you're ex boyfriend is caressing knives in your kitchen. Ask why that is.
Alaric/Klaus puts down his knives and sighs before asking Stefan who will be the one to tell her. Jenna, frustrated, asks what the heck he is talking about and A/K responds with 'Do you believe in vampires?'
Jenna, still confused, asks why they are talking about this and Alaric/Klaus says because she is upset with him for keeping secrets, here's one - he is just obsessed with vampires. He asks Stefan if he likes vampires and Stefan says in literature, sure. A/K points out that vampires are the oldest creatures of the night - besides werewolves of course.
Jenna is getting fed up and begins to walk away, but A/K keeps on going. Did you know there is an Aztec curse that makes werewolves slaves to the moon and vampires to the sun? That they would kill anyone to have it broken.
FINALLY Jenna looks scared.
About damn time.
o o o
Elijah and Elena walk around outside. He explains that only one thing can kill an Original and that would be that tree. That tree had to exist because an all powerful creature cannot exist in nature - there must be something that can take it out. I like that concept.
Elena asks why Klaus is so set on breaking that stupid curse if it has nothing to do with him (thank HEAVENS someone finally asks this question). Elijah laughs at the curse annnnnd
FLASHBACK!
I laughed a lot right away because do you guys see what passed for a lap-dance back then? A girl shimmying in a grandma night gown. Hawt.
Elijah is showing Klaus a scroll of markings that he, Klaus, made when he was drunk one night. Elijah says that Klaus's Aztec drawings were the best of the whole lot ("who can resist a shaman") and Klaus laughs. Ugh, I love this dude who plays Klaus. Where can I get more of him? Also, I love the true brotherly affection in this scene.
Back to the present and Elena is confused - Klaus drew those crazy sketches that started all this mess? Elijah says yup, they did the same thing, in different languages everywhere they felt like it. Elena asks why and Elijah says quite simply that the best way to find something you are looking for is to have everyone else looking for it too. In this case Elijah and Klaus were looking for a moonstone and a doppleganger. But why? Is it even Aztec?
This is when Elijah leans in and says something that made me rage for a second before I could think about it and get ridiculously pleased; this whole sun and moon curse? Bullcrap. All of it is a lie and it doesn't even exist.
Like I said; first reaction; RAGE. Vampire Diaries did you put on Elena's face and I have somehow turned into Damon Slavatore? Have you been jerking me about this WHOLE time? But then I thought about it and was well chuffed -it's all fake! This whole stupid moon/sun thing isn't even a thing anymore! We get an explanation that makes sense!
Cool beans.
o o o
Alaric/Klaus, Jenna, and Stefan are all sitting down to a severely awkward meal and Alaric is finishing off his story with 'yup! vampires are real.' Jenna gets fed up and tells him to get out. She thinks he's just messing with her. He won't leave so she says fine, she'll leave (and go back to campus?) She gets up to go, but A/K pulls a knife on her. Stefan uses his super human speed to overpower Alaric and pin him against a wall, knife to throat. I was kinda disappointed - Jenna needs a good cut or two.
Stefan yells over and over for Jenna to go, but she just won't and A/K is taunting him. Saying that Stefan would never kill Alaric, but Stefan is like watch me and digs the knife just a little deeper. DO IT! STAB HIM! Kill him dead!
...
Sorry, I don't know what came over me. It's just been so long since anyone important has died on this show...
Anyway A/K is all, fine, kill this body - he'll just take over Jenna. THAT would be awesome. Just sayin - I'm all about the story lines. Stefan finally yells loud enough at Jenna, and reveals his vampire face and she runs out of the house. Alaric/Klaus snarls at Stefan that he better tell Elena that he'll kill her whole family if she tries to stop him from breaking this curse. Stefan punches and kicks him unconscious. I wondered for a sec how that was possible, but then I recalled that he said he didn't have Maddox's spell protecting him anymore - which is absurd. EVERYONE wants to kill your body.
If Klaus killed Jenna I wouldn't be too upset.
o o o
Elijah is telling Elena that he and Klaus faked the sun and the moon curse over a thousand years ago. There is a curse at play, it's just not that. The real curse isn't against all vampire and werewolf kind, it's only against Klaus. And it all makes sense now. When this curse was first introduced all I could think was so what? But now that we see that it is only against Klaus that makes way more sense - and it's kind of ingenious what he did. Fooling everyone. I just wonder how the vampires will feel when they figure out Klaus has been lying.
Just as we are finding out what this curse against Klaus is, Stefan calls Elena. He tells her about Jenna and she runs off telling Elijah he has her Word that she will return. No! Stay with Elijah! You honestly owe Jenna nothing and this curse is way more important than her. She ran out on you, she can wait a few minutes.
I sound insensitive.
I stand by this opinion.
This show has made me the worst.
o o o
FLASHBACK!
Elijah and Katherine are playing Catch Me If You Can. Which made me chuckle because it's ironic. Get it? Her favorite game when she was alive is now what she uses to survive as a vampire?
Lawl, clever Vampire Diaries.
Elijah sucks at this game, but not really because he just doesn't want the game to end and it's sweet.
Katherine thanks him for entertaining her - Klaus was supposed to do it but he never came back from his shenanigans last night. She's confused - he called specifically on her, but acts as if she doesn't matter at all.
Klaus was the first Bad Boy.
Elijah says that more unions have been built on less recognition but Katherine wants more! She wants true love! And so does Elijah! They gaze at each other for a minute and than Klaus rolls up. He's got blood all over his body and is wearing the equivalent of what a leather jacket would be back in the day. What'd I say - Original Bad Boy.
He takes Katherine away and we're back in the present. Elijah totally loved Katherine.
o o o
So Jenna is crying and being weepy in the Salvatore house when Elena comes in.
Elena says that she's super sorry - she just wanted to keep Jenna safe and that's why she didn't tell her. I've said it once and I'll say it again - that reasoning makes no sense. How in the world is letting someone you care about walk about with no knowledge of the danger around them better than having them be mentally prepared and able to recognize the warning signs?
Whatevs.
This whole scene annoys me because Jenna is just not having the right reactions. When Elena comes in, instead of hugging her and saying "oh my word, you've been hanging around vampires, are you alright! ?" she backs away. I can understand her being annoyed that everyone knew except for her, but then she takes away any understanding I may have felt when she tells Elena that she was supposed to be the one protecting them and not the other way around.
...
Shut up Jenna. Just shut your mouth. Elena and Jeremy were super smart not to let you try to 'protect' them. You're worse at it than Stefan and Damon trying to bodyguard. You're worse at it than Liz. Liz. Shame on you for even letting that sentiment leave your mouth.
Add to the fact that Jenna is making this all about her and I'm disgusted with this whole thing. I don't know if it's just me, but do any of you feel like she's reacting more to the fact that Alaric betrayed her than anything else. Yeah, vampires exist and no one told her, but think about it - would any of YOU react this way? Blubbering and a mess on your niece's boyfriend's couch? No, you'd all probably go, "aw snap! Really? That's equal parts cool and terrifying. I'm kind of annoyed you kept me in the dark this long, but now that I'm not, tell me more. I'm intrigued." Ninety-five percent of what Jenna is reacting to is the fact that 1) Alaric was lying to her 2) Elena was helping Alaric lie and 3) Alaric was being bizarre earlier, but stopped because Stefan tried to kill him, and she's still confused about that whole debacle.
Her reaction is pretty unreasonable.
Or maybe I'm just closed off emotionally.
Listen guys, I really am terrible.
Anyway, Elena hugs and comforts her and Jenna is a weakling. We pan out to see Stefan has been listening and... crying? the whole time.
Alright.
I don't know what that's about, but Stefan seems super emotional this episode. Oversleeping, staking claim on his girlfriend, beating up the town drunk, crying. I enjoy how that doesn't stop him from staying in the shadows and listening to private conversations, though.
Stefan luvs tew lurk.
o o o
Jenna is out of the way and has been put to bed like the sniveling baby that she is. Elena says this is all her own fault. No comment on that. She starts to leave but Damon tries to stop her, bodily. Than Stefan tries to stop him bodily and hah! everyone is just abusive. The whole time Andy is in the background flitting about nervously and its adorable.
o o o
Heeheehehee
Drunk Katherine is the best. The best, seriously. I wanna be her friend. Her best friend. I can see why Isobel tried so hard to be buddy buddy with her. Now that Isobel is gone, do you think Katherine is taking applications?
Alaric/Klaus comes home and she sits quickly on the couch, pretending to be all sullen and drunk instead of happy and drunk. He tells her to turn down the damn music and she does. Alaric/Klaus is complaining about his day and Katherine offers him a drink. His reaction is priceless and hilarious - he looks at her incredulously, says 'What the- no, I don't want a drink' and throws the whole bottle at the wall. Oh, Klaus.
He grabs her and tells her to sit down and shut up, which she does even though she's on vervain now. Maddox shows up with all these other witches and luggage, one of which is a huge crate that holds his body. And in walks- Greta! She seems pretty happy to be with Klaus, so I guess Doc Martin and Luka died for nothing. I'm just glad there's a black which back on the scene. The world is right again. Black Witches FTW!
o o o
Elena is back and the look Elijah gives her makes me melt. I want Elijah and Elena to, I don't know, hug or touch or something.
I'm inappropriate.
But seriously, that's a love myriagon I'd love to see because seriously, Elijah would demolish them all. So we finally get to learn what the curse is! So here's the deal:
After everyone in the family were turned into vampires (how? howhowhowhow?) they found out there had been a mistake - Klaus was not his father's son. Turns out Elijah's mother cheated on his father with another man and never told anybody. Cheatin hos man!
And (because I'm assuming an Original basically can't be killed so attacking the wife would have been pointless) Elijah's father went and hunted down the man who banged his wife and killed not only him, but his entire family. Overkill, Buddy. Guess we see where Klaus gets it from. He didn't realize that he would be igniting a war between species. Elena asks what he means and I want to hit her - you live in Mystic Falls. When you hear the word 'species' you know it either means vampires, werewolves, or humans and humans can barely keep themselves alive let alone fight a war.
But oh snap! This means Klaus is vampire and a werewolf! She asks what in the world that makes him and um, it obviously makes him a Lycan-Vampire Hybrid! Hybrid Elena! You NEVER saw Underworld?
So, a Hybrid is insanely dangerous, more powerful than both vamps and werewolves, and that imbalance cannot exist in nature, so the witches made Klaus's werewolf side dormant. THAT'S the curse Klaus is trying to break. He wants to become all powerful and breed his own race.
Which. Is. Awesome.
I know I should be rooting against this, but c'mon. Hybrids!
I do wonder how Klaus would do this though - vampires can't breed so how would the mechanics of this work?
Elena asks if this is the case, why was Elijah trying to help Klaus out at first. Elijah said well, he loved him. That was his brother and he wanted him to be happy, but all that has changed now. Why? Soon enough.
Elena says they have to destroy him! They have the dagger! But there is a snag - a werewolf wounded by silver heals easily and an Original can only be killed by the dagger dipped in oak. So, that dagger, made out of silver, is useless. Klaus will just heal anyway. But there is a way Elena! Never fear! Drumroll please-
A witch! The only way to kill him is with a witch. Hahaha, full circle.
Klaus must be killed under a full moon during his transition- he'll be his most vulnerable then. If they can find a witch that can channel that much power they are good to go. Elena says she might know a guy, and Elijah has one more thing to mention.
FLASHBACK!
Klaus is staring into a fire saying the time has come for the curse on him to be broken. Elijah has good news. The witches found a way that the spell can be broken and Katherine can stay alive, but Klaus doesn't care. Why would he want to save a life when he can take one away?
Elijah asks him to reconsider, and Klaus becomes suspicious - does Elijah love Katherine? Elijah says of course not and Klaus reminds him that a vampire's greatest weakness is love and the Originals are not weak beings. He tells Elijah to tell the witches not to bother saving Katherine.
PRESENT!
Elena is pleased that there can be a way that she can survive this and I am genuinely surprised. This girl's self preservation instincts are kinda wack. Elena realizes that Elijah cared for Katherine but he says he'll never make that kind of mistake again.
I really like how Elijah evolved from this cold, scary monster to a cold scary monster who can love and wants love. That's nice.
o o o
Damon is steadily getting drunk in the Salvatore house. Andy tries to talk him into a good mood but he makes her leave him alone. Stefan walks in and is all 'tired of her already?' Damon tells him not to start and Stefan says seriously dude, stop doing this to her. Damon says Stefan should be happy Andy is here - it's distraction enough to keep him from what he really wants. And yeah, I know that he's talking about Elena, but in this shot right as Damon says that he looks pointedly at Stefan's ass, and I am jolted into awkwardness. Ummm...
Seriously, go back and watch that shot.
Stefan, unawares of what awkwardness just went down turns around and says "Thank you for being in love with my girlfriend." Damon stands up and is all 'now it's all in the open, what you gonna do about it?' Stefan says nothing, because as long as Damon is being a fool and loving someone who will never love him back Elena is safe. Damon will always protect Elena and everyone knows it and everyone has, is, and will use it against him. Stefan says Damon's feelings on the matter don't matter because Stefan has the one thing Damon doesn't and that's Elena's respect.
Damon punches the crap out of him and they grapple and FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT! DO IT!
Ugh, what is wrong with me? ! I am such a barbarian today! But I am positively gleeful at the prospect of a fight Just as I'm chanting 'lots o punches' Elena walks in and breaks it up.
Humph. Spoilsport.
FLASHBACK!
Whoa! Did not see that one coming.
Klaus storms into Elijah's room and he's annnnnngry. Katherine is gone and Klaus thinks Elijah tipped her off. Elijah insists he didn't, but Klaus ain't buyin that mess. He slams Elijah against the wall and yells, and yeah... yeah I love this guy as Klaus. He has a feral, animal type way to him. And look at that brow bone!
Elijah gives Klaus his Word that he will find Katherine and Klaus gives his Word that if Elijah doesn't follow up on his Word, Klaus will kill him.
Lawdy! All these Words.
PRESENT!
Damon is pissed that Elijah is even in the house, but Elena says that they have renewed the terms of their deal. Elijah says he won't hurt the two of them but he only wants one thing in return. An apology.
Awwwwwwwwwww, that is so cute! Seriously, it's such a simple thing and if anyone deserves an apology on this show it's Elijah. Damon and Stefan look super confused and Stefan apologizes, saying that he's sorry but Elena comes first. He will. always. protect. Elena.
Stefan is the worst apologizer ever.
Damon just stands in the background looking more and more frustrated, and angry, and petulant and I feel so bad for him. He looks right angry now and well fed up, shaking his head incredulously. Stefan seems slightly alarmed by this, but Elena is already talking. Elijah knows for a way for Bonnie to do the spell without getting hurt and for Elena to stay alive. Damon asks if everyone is just trusting Elijah now and Elena says yup.
Damon tells them they can all go to hell and yes! Yes, Damon get out of the equation, good for you. Go far, far away - all of these people are mad and there are others that can love you.
Stefan seems even more alarmed at this and says that Damon is angry with him right now, but he'll come around to save his girlfriend's life.
I don't know. I mean ninety percent chance he will, but there is that ten percent that has actually absorbed Stefan's words earlier - that loving Elena does nothing but harm to him so he might as well give it up as a bad job and keep it moving.
o o o
Damon goes up to his bedroom where Andy is there in her bra and panties. He thought she left but he didn't actually Compel her so she stayed. She wants him to know that she wants to be here.
Damon rushes up and grabs her face - he's upset and she knows what happens when he is upset. But she doesn't want to go - Damon needs to know that someone actually cares about him. Damon, who we all know isn't good at feeling feelings, responds by biting a chunk out of her neck.
Kill her! Do it! Ah! What is WRONG with me! ? I LOVE Andy! Why am I rooting for her bleed-out? !
He doesn't kill her, but Compels her to leave before he does. Aww, poor Damon. Seriously, this is all because every time he actually loves somebody they turn him down, and in the worst possible ways. I don't get how no one could have loved him. Or maybe I'm thinking how can no one have loved that face.
I'm also shallow.
o o o
Back at Alaric's the witches are doing the chant to return Klaus to his body while Katherine watches. It works, and once Alaric is back to normal, he has time to murmur a confused "Elena?" at the sight of Katherine before he keels over.
Maddox opens the box that holds Klaus's body and out he steps! And his hair looks phenomenal! He says "this is more like it," and gives a little smile!
I have a good feeling about this.
o o o
Next week:
Some stuff happens about betrayal, and something or another. But none of that really matters because OMFGTYLERISBACK! ! ! !
No thanks to Carol.
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